privacy über alles

your secret is safe with us

Here's the deal: we use the Internet. A lot. We use it for business, we use it for fun, we use it to get our whites whiter and our colors brighter. So we get a lot of spam in our e-mail. Consequently, we think spammers are the lowest form of life on Earth. Lower than flatworms, slugs, and leeches. Given the choice between sharing a cab with a leprous vampire or a spammer, we'd grab a clove of garlic and take our chances. If a spammer were drowning, we'd throw him a sack of Quikrete. Starting to get the picture?

We ain't too sweet on telemarketers and junk mailers who fill our postboxes with coupons for carpet steaming services and address labels, either. So when we tell you that your private information isn't going to be sold, spindled, or mutilated, you can trust us. See, we think mass marketing is stupid and ineffective, so even if we didn't have a moral objection to it, we still wouldn't do it.

Here's the basic agreement: you give us your mailing address and what-not so we can send you the products you ordered. Once that transaction is complete, we aren't going to even keep your information on file. We don't want that responsibility. If you come back in a month and want to order more stuff (and damn, we hope you do), you'll have to fill in the blanks again. Sure, it's not as convenient as Amazon's "One-Click Shopping", but it's a hell of a lot more private and secure. We can't be tempted to sell our mailing list if we don't have one. Heck, we don't even use cookies...

Besides, we don't need to keep your name and address. We'll recognize you by the way-cool SMP T-shirt you're sporting.